sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We need a shit load of segways right now
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
