Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just had sex on a roof
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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