I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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