I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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