Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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