ugly people sure do ruin things
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
