i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
