i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
