Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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