i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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