She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize