i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
