benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
