remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
