Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
