What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
