sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Houston, we have a blender
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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