Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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