New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
