Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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