We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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