What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize