I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
zippers are such a cool invention
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
