i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
3pm strippers are depressing
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
