There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
porn star boner night. come get it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
