I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
