this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
