Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
