The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
