one two three fourrrrnication!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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