Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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