when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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