So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
