just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
