There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
