I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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