I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
