R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
