"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
