woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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