remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
