Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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