He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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