I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
