i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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