So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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