what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
