your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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