she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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