oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
