You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
