But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
