Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
