just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
