It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
