..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
