I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
