he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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