did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
