32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
