yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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