Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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